Thoughts | Is There A 'Right Age' To Get Married?

The average age for a woman in the UK to marry is 30 (for fellas it's 32), but if you were to ask most 'millenials' they will express a preference to marry in their twenties. When I consulted twitter, I found that 41% of people considered 22-25 being the prime age to tie the knot. 

I'm just about to enter my twenties and it's baffling how much our lives - in terms of relationships - can vary from one another during this decade. When I consider my peers from school there is so much variation in regards to which 'life stage' we're at as we approach our twentieth birthdays. A few are married; some engaged; some parents.  A fair few of us (myself included) are in long-term relationships - within which the prospect of 'putting a ring on it' has been discussed - and a percentage of people are still playing the field, if you will. 

But is there a 'right age' to get married? 

Personally, I've always aspired to get married in my mid-twenties. My parents married at twenty-three and are about to celebrate their thirtieth wedding anniversary, so the potential joy of 'growing up together' as well as growing old together is something I've subconsciously been aware of for a long time.

 Many of our ideas on the right age to marry will have been shaped by the ages that our parents and other family members walked down the aisle; we'll expect ourselves to follow suit and follow a similar timeline in our own love lives. We must however consider the change of societies expectations regarding relationships and it's effect on the age of marriage. Now we're in an era where pre-marital sex and cohabitation is accepted, almost as the norm, there's less of a rush to tie the knot. So do we really need to marry as young as we're expecting ourselves to?

A persons aspirations are also likely to impact on their readiness to marry. I know people who chose to spend their twenties exploring the world solo, before they settled down; people who wanted to do the education thing or the career thing before they head in the direction of wedding bells. But equally there are people who wanted to do all of these things with their partner by their side; people who have already found their best friend and want to enjoy the adventures of life alongside them.

Of course it goes without saying that the age we move from Miss to Mrs will depend on when you meet that right person. If you find them when you're still young you'll be more likely to tie the knot early, but if you take a little longer to find the other half of you it might be a later wedding. But it's a fact that some people just aren't looking for anyone to settle down with just yet, so may not find themselves open to the idea of meeting a long term partner. It's all down to personal preference and what stage of life you're currently in. 

Whilst many people would say it's important to learn who you are yourself before committing your life to another human being, I want to bring to the conversation the fact that you can also grow and develop as a person within marriage/a long term relationship. I don't think there's a real magic number for getting married, it's all dependent on personal timelines and preferences. 

Whilst researching for this post I came across the most fascinating article on the topic - written by a wonderful journalist - which states something I believe best summarises my conclusion about the 'right age to get married'; that it is entirely dependent on the couple themselves.

 "I want to add to this conversation by saying that the perfect age to get married has nothing to do with the years you’ve lived, and everything to do with how you’ve lived them. Call me crazy, but I don’t think you can quantify a person’s preparedness for marriage simply based on how many years they’ve been alive."

Do you believe that there's a right age to get married?

6 comments:

  1. This is such a good post - though I have to admit I'm surprised at the Twitter poll results! I get married in October at the age of 24, we got engaged in our final year of uni, and I'm the first of my friends to get married/engaged despite others being in relationships just as long.

    I love the idea of growing up and growing old together - being together since we were 16 certainly makes that true for us!

    NINEGRANDSTUDENT: A Foodie Blog

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    1. Your love story sounds beautiful. I've been with my boyfriend sine we were 17 and I've loved the fact we're learning how to navigate the adult world together. Thank you for your comment x

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  2. Such a unique idea for a post, loving it :)
    I've never really had a set age in mind to get married and I don't believe there is one really, everyone is different and you just have to go with your gut when you believe you've found the right person. I've been with my partner for 5 years in June and we have no plans for marriage yet although we haven't ruled it out either.
    I agree with the girlie above though, I'm quite surprised to hear the Twitter results but hey, if you know, you know :) A lot of people I went to school with are married already and as weird as it seems at first, it's easy to forget we aren't kids anymore!
    Great post Chloe x

    Jessica / jessinwonderland.com

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    1. I was very surprised at the poll results too, 4% said under 21! I definitely agree with the whole 'when you know you know' idea, everyone's love story is different. Thank you for your comment x

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  3. Loved reading this! Well, I met my husband in first year of uni (at 18), married in second year (at 19) and got pregnant just before graduation (at 21). I think if you find the right person then nothing should hold you back but also it is a really serious commitment. Put it this way, if one of my friends told me they were getting married at 19, I would tell them that they were crazy haha. Different strokes for different folks, I guess

    www.theemeralddove.co.uk

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    1. I'm nineteen and I could definitely not imagine getting married right now! It's lovely to hear about such a beautiful young love story. Thank you for your comment x

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